One of the greatest challenges in life is building and creating a life you want… on your terms. All while ignoring how others see you and carry on. The art of learning how to stop giving a fuck and start playing your own game is possible, it may just take a bit of pivoting and shifting.
Having a good understanding of why you even care will help you in finding ways to banish your worries and truly work at making yourself happier.
These roadblocks are all a natural process of life. And if you can figure out how to not give a fuck in your personal life then you can apply it other aspects of your life too.
Here are a few techniques to help you to stop giving a fuck and start playing your own game.
Why Giving a Fuck is Natural
After all, we are a human right?
From the moment we’re born, we seek the approval and advice of our parents. This naturally continues through into school, then our first job. It is natural to want to give a fuck about what other people think of us. We want the approval of other people. We need it to get accepted in the university, we need it for our first car loan, then a new job, and then from the bank, so we can get a mortgage.
This practice can carry through our entire life. In some aspects of life, it’s important to seek the approval of others (see above). But in others, there can be some serious consequences to giving a fuck when we’re trying to achieve a higher level of happiness.
3 Reasons Why Giving a Fuck Can Affect Your Life
There can be serious consequences to living a life where you constantly seek the approval of others. Naturally, it can lead to insecurity in your life and have you constantly judging what you do, or worse, stop you from even setting foot outside that door…
Does any of this sound like you?
- If you always wonder what strangers think about you in public places then you’ll always be insecure in these places.
- If you need to seek approval for your life by finding women to date, then you’re subjecting yourself to an emotional rollercoaster as you get rejected by said women.
- If you give too many fucks about what your family says is the best career for you then you’ll be stuck working a job you don’t enjoy.
Getting Starting on Stopping
If you’re clueless on how to stop giving a fuck, then this next section is for you. It’ll take about three steps to help you stop seeking approval for all aspects of your life. Soon you’ll be able to free yourself from all these built-up negative emotions and anxiety that you may be feeling after giving too many fucks.
1. Nothing Really Fucking Matters At All?
The first step involves you understanding why there’s no point in worrying about what others think of you.
Other People Really Don’t Give a Fuck Either.
Did you know that most people don’t even think about others? That’s right. They’re like you, and they are too busy obsessing over the same thing as you. What this really means is that most people are extremely self-conscious about themselves.
Did you know that even the most self-confident celebrities and actors worry about how their fans perceive them? It’s a problem everyone has!
This is why we take so much time choosing the perfect outfit to wear to an event. This is why we spend hours at the gym working out. It’s why we go to a barber or hair salon to get our hair done. For all these reasons, we also want to make lots of money and perhaps get our 15 minutes of fame.
Because… if you were rich and famous, then everyone would like you! But, before you get excited over that, just think about some of the more popular celebrities today—you either love them or you hate them—it has nothing to do with fame or fortune!
The next time that you find yourself worrying about what others are thinking of you, remember that they are only thinking about themselves and too worried to even give a fuck about you.
That High Doesn’t Last Anyway
Think back to all those important moments in life. You graduated high school, you got your first job, you got a promotion, that cute person said yes to a date, or you got a compliment on that hairstyle that cost you $200. Yes, you got a quick dose of dopamine, then it went away.
Now you are right back where you started. And just think about all that work to accomplish those things above? Were they really worth it? Well, maybe graduating and getting a promotion, but perhaps not spending all that money on that suit or those nails!
Yes, getting a small taste of approval does feel good, but these are few and far between in life. If you are always trying to get approval in life, you’ll always be striving toward it. This means you won’t feel happy unless you get a compliment on every hour of the day.
Do you really want to give that many fucks about what people think about you? Sure, if someone is paying attention, then that’s great. But don’t make it the main focus of your day.
2. Create a Lifestyle You Love?
The best way to stop giving the effs is to create a life worth living. This is a life that is focused on you and not what others think. It all begins with some good habits.
Create Some Great Habits
This is not about brushing or flossing your teeth or waking up early to exercise each morning. Instead, this is applicable to the habits that will allow you to live up to your own expectations of life and your small business.
Yes, this can mean that you do yoga or go to the gym, or write, meditate, or take classes. You may enjoy traveling or spending time with family. These are the things that you enjoy doing. You are doing them because they make you happy.
Does it really if you someone cuts you off in traffic, or that woman (or man) rejects you, or some big box store employee is rude to you? Perhaps you get rude comments on your social media posts? Nope, none of this matters at all.
Remember… you don’t give a fuck about any of these tiny little things! Will they matter tomorrow? Nope!
This is because you know that tomorrow you’re still leaving for Vegas, or that you’re going to the baseball game with your friends, or anything else that you look forward to.
Remember that no matter what people say about you, you’ll always be able to take comfort in the fact that you have built a lifestyle that suits you, and that you can be proud of!
These are the things that no one can take from you!
Create Goals That Matter to You
These are goals that no one else has set for you. They are only for you. This means that you don’t set goals that serve other people or do what you think they want you to do.
If you do set goals that serve other people, you are defeating the purpose of this entire article. You may as well hand them the whip and show up with a leash around your neck. You shouldn’t be trying to suppress your own goals and trade them for someone else’s. Do you really want to give other people the authority to choose the direction you take in life?
This can be tricky. Some people may think they don’t give a fuck, but then they’ll fulfill the dreams of someone else.
To avoid getting stuck in this trap, only set short-term or moderate-term goals. Set ones that only reflect what you are currently interested in.
When people are trying to get you to set goals for them, they are often longterm.
But when you focus on shorter goals, you can give yourself permission to focus on them, and push aside the opinions of other people.
3. Realize When You’re Seeking Approval
When you understand when you’re seeking approval, you’ll soon begin to figure out why you are doing it. The key is to catch yourself in the actual act of giving too many fucks.
You could be at work and be wondering if your boss is mad at you, or wondering if your date really likes you. You may wonder if you look cool enough at that party.
So, how do break the cycle?
⚠ Stop yourself. If you’re giving a fuck what others think then you need to stop.
⚠ Accept that it will happen. Don’t try to lie to yourself that it’s not the way you intended it to happen. Simply accept it and let yourself know it’s normal.
⚠ Send it on its way. Remember that it doesn’t matter why you give a fuck. Instead, boot it out the door. If you need extra help, breathe deeply five times.
This technique can be a bit challenging to implement, but as you practice you’ll be well on your way to a zero fucks day!
Once you ace it the first few times, your brain will naturally adapt. Soon, your brain will be preprogrammed into not giving a fuck.
There Could Be Bigger Approval Seeking at Play
Now that you’ve mastered the smaller not giving a fuck, there can also be a much bigger trend happening in your life. These are your life choices that you have a much deeper reason for doing, and they can all involve seeking people’s approval too.
Are you doing any of the following?
- You’re working at your job so you can seek fame and recognition.
- You’re doing the things that your friends like to do.
- You live in a big city because that’s what people do.
- You keep up with the same dating practices yet wonder why.
In all of these instances, you’re living someone else’s dream and not your own. Now, it’s obvious that you have to have a job so you can put a roof over your head and food on the table, but you really need to be honest with yourself in these four points above.
How many of the above things are you really doing for yourself? They may not even be those things, but you likely get the point. Whatever happened to your own dreams and goals?
3 Reminders to Stop Giving a Fuck
That’s all there is to it! Follow the above three steps and soon you’ll stop giving a fuck about what other people think. Once you clear that garbage from your mind you can begin focusing on your own goals and dreams.
Here are the tips in a shortened form so you can refer to them throughout the day.
1. There’s no point in worrying about what others think because they are inwardly focused on themselves. If you do receive a compliment, it’s short-lived.
2. Build the ideal lifestyle by doing the things you really want to do. These can include the hobbies and activities that you truly enjoy.
3. Create new habits that focus on what you really want to do. Be sure to catch those times when you do give a fuck, then accept it, and give it the boot.
Tomorrow Is the First Day of Not Giving a Fuck!
By now you have a solid understanding of why people give a fuck, and how it’s basically a waste of your time, efforts, and emotions. When you no longer seek the approval of others, you’ll start to live a life that’s truly focused on you.
Now that you don’t give a fuck what others think about you, you can start giving a fuck about the things that really matter to you.
Remember that tomorrow is the first day of not giving a fuck!
It’s Your Turn!
What are some areas in your life that you still give a fuck about? What are some areas that you know you should change but you’re not fucking doing it? Leave me a comment below and I look forward to hearing your feedback!
Yes I can stop giving a fuck and yes I can pick up hobbies but working towards my dreams that really matter to me seems impossible. I can’t really survive because no one has my back if I fail not even my family.. I’m stuck in syria. It’s war in here and I don’t have a chance to go to another place to start what I want. I’m going to be a doctor in a year but that’s not what I want. I need help
Thank you for sharing your story. You are at the right place at the right time. It may not feel that way right now but it will make sense soon. 😊