Humans are social animals, therefore, thinking that we can survive without each other and live life in isolation is perhaps not a practical logic. Hence, in order to be true humans we ought to socialize and interact with other people, however, all the people are not alike, and there are some good and some bad.
Everyone tells you to find good people and join their company, whereas when it comes to people who are toxic and not good for you, no one tells you how to deal with them. Believe it or not, the people which you believe to be toxic can be a crucial component of your life; therefore, instead of avoiding and abandoning them, you need to learn to lead with them. Here are a few ways of doing that.
Don’t Confront Them When In Anger:
Anger ruins even healthy relationships, let alone the ones with toxic people. When you are in anger then the best way to deal with toxic people is to not confront them. Although it won’t affect their toxicity or the way you think about them, however, it will definitely give you a clear picture to look at and then take any decision accordingly. Therefore, in anger avoid confronting such people else you may harm both them and yourself as well.
Acknowledge Your Emotions:
You can keep on telling yourself that you are strong, you are cool, you are patient and open-minded, but the truth is that sometimes even the best of us deviate from being cool and calm. Therefore, if you think you are going through such a phase then acknowledge these emotions and on the basis of that try to either refrain from confronting the toxic people or deal them in a proper way and be on your way as soon as possible. Therefore, turning your face away from your emotions might not come in handy if you have negative people around you.
Although this must be asking too much of you, however, when it comes to you dealing with toxic people, if you could empathize a little with them I ensure you that you can enjoy a healthy relationship with them as well and they can do a lot good to you as well. When you think for a little time about the way they feel or think and the way other people treat them which has made them toxic, you will definitely get a new perspective and would definitely think of a better way of treating the toxic people and make them benefit you and you benefit them.
Keep Your Eyes On Intentions:
There is a strong probability of the fact that people who you think toxic won’t have bad intentions for you, rather it’s the way they do or say things that annoy you or that isn’t in your favor. Therefore, another great and healthy way of dealing with toxic people could be to for some time keep the way they behave aside and focus on their intentions. When you focus on their intentions, you will definitely come to know the good they have in their heart for you and how their conduct is not like the good they have in their hearts. Therefore, instead of being blind and judgmental, take a while and think of the intentions they have, I am sure that it will definitely lead you to see well in them, thus making your life and relations easier.
Now it’s Your Turn!
Do you have toxic people around you? Have you ever had to deal with them or how do you deal with them? What is your experience so far? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below.
Thanks Nate, great content as always. Although when people deal with toxic people the emotions run high and those basic instincts come out.
thanks for sharing this tips. makes life easier to handle some hard people
So true, i have come across toxic a lot in my little life and i can tell you how annoying they can be 😀
Thank you for the tip on how to handle them….
I am so guilty of the first one, I am afraid! I usually confront the person while still angry because I am afraid if I don’t that I will chicken out and regret it, but I usually regret what I said in anger anyways.
Great post, good advice, I will think about what you said, and hopefully handle it better next time!
Thanks you! Great help…
Thanks for sharing this Nate. A broader understanding of people around us such as considering the possibility that toxic people are not really bad people is a surefire way to develop good relationship with people around us.
Your advice is good, as usual. I’ve never forgotten a toxic woman I once worked with. I did all the things you mentioned, but she always made me feel small. In the end, I backed away and asked to be shifted to another department.
I saw her in the supermarket months ago. She made another caustic remark about me standing alone instead of shopping. I nodded politely, but her comment hurt me. I’ve accepted that I can’t change her. Best to take a deep breath.
I often don’t know what to do. I always think it’s best just to tell someone if I have a problem with them and I’d want others to do the same to me!
Excellent points Nate. Toxic people wear you out because many times, they are always explosive. However, staying calm, giving a listening ear or good ways to diffuse the situation. I usually put my hand over my heart and say ” I need your help” in their presence it works. On phone I say, ” when you ate done let me know” thanks excellent post.
Embracing your feelings is the path to peace of mind. We all flip out at times; trying to con yourself into believing you are immune from these feelings is pure delusion. Awesome tips Nate, thanks! Tweeted 🙂
Great tips on how to deal with toxic people Nate!!! Thanks for sharing:)
haha thanks for sharing this great post i have to really try not to approach with anger lol x
I try my very hardest to stay away from Toxic people. I’ve been around them before and things do not end well for them or for me. I totally agree with all your tips, especially about not confronting them when you are angry. I always find it’s better to cool off and come back and talk about things in a calmer manner…heck I even do this with my husband when I’m upset at home.
I Nate I’m totally agree with you about toxic people. I get as far as possible from those people. Like you just mention I use to be strong and able to be cool but one day I just decide enough is enough I did work for 20 years in a Rehab Center for drug addict. Now I smell then when they come around ….Thank Nate to share…
I think some people are toxic based on their past life experiences and some are toxic out of sheer evilness. The approach I’d take would be based on the two variances, what I find in the person of value to themselves and myself, and how I can be of help. Otherwise, I go my way and they go theirs.
I had my share in dealing with toxic people. For me the best approach is to empathize with them. You want to be able to find why they are like this and be able to understand this. You may also want to provide the solutions to their liking and not yours. In this sense you build a better reputation with them instead of trying to belittle or change them. Great share and you’re right, this is a topic that a lot of people don’t talk about. Have a great week!
Sometimes the people that we see as toxic can teach us valuable lessons about ourselves. They can teach us patience, understanding, and compassion. (As much as we’d hate to admit it.) I always try to see things from their perspective (before I write them off). Great advice here, Nate. Thanks!
I have met a few toxic personalities over the years. ROFL
I kill them (or tame them) with kindness. If they accept my approach, we’re golden. If not, I don’t dwell longer on them than I need to because the more time I waste on people who don’t appreciate it, the less quality time I can spend with those who do!
Unfortunately, yes, I have had to deal with a few and only two that were definitely toxic that I had to get away from. I tried to cope and deal with them as best as I could but it was too exhausting, so I just told them, I wished them well but we had to part ways.
Have a great day. Monna
Good post ,Nate
I stay away from them ,but if I have to deal with one
I am specially very friendly ,which works good usually.
the more you show yourself affected ,the worse they get .
Golly, such a huge subject. I love the first point and it is my best defence – walk away and calm down, then challenge when you are not in the throes of emotion. Definitely my top tip.
Enjoy the journey.
Sadly, there are a few toxic people that could really annoy, I just shut them oput and stop paying attention, works for me! 😉
Toxic people are draining on the energy, and I avoid them whenever possible. But if it is a close family member, avoidance may not be possible. You offer valuable tips here, Nate. Empathizing and showing genuine interest in them tends to disarm them, and things are more tolerable.
Yes, sooner or later you will meet a toxic person. I knew one and I had to end the relationship because she was too toxic, and I think that’s okay to do. If someone drags you down , judges you, criticizes you, well it’s best to let them go. And your right, don’t “feed” the fire.
I agree Nate, we can learn from people we consider Toxic,and you have outlined some excellent steps for curbing our anger and turning the emotion around and continuing a relationship. But,there is also a point at which the decision must be made as to whether they are considered a negative influence in ones life and therefore best left behind.
A really well thought out and balanced review Nate,on an unusual subject 🙂