One of the most common things that almost every one of us does in his or her life sooner or later is comparing ourselves with others. This intentional or unintentional comparing with others partly because of our elders who always compare us with our friends and partly it is because of us when at different times we start comparing ourselves with others.
The comparison we do is of all sorts. From tangible to intangible, from money to waistline, from cars to the wristwatches, from dresses to shoe collection, from career success to the size of the paycheck; all of these and many more are the factors on the bases of which we compare ourselves with others and make our lives full of suffering and miserable.
Besides the general tension and depression that comparing with others brings to life, there are several other reasons why you should not compare your life with others. Below I’ll be discussing you should not compare your life with others.
You Compare Wrong:
First of all, the biggest mistake with the whole notion of comparing and its process is the fact that most of the time you will be comparing the wrong things. No one has been able to identify the standards upon which one should compare oneself with others. All the money, cars, beauty, followers, homes, clothes and every other thing is relative and depends upon your subjectivity. Therefore, if you don’t have some established standards of comparison, then the comparison that will take place in such a case will always be wrong. Therefore, because of the lack of standards, any comparison made by you will be of the wrong things and eventually it will lead to wrong results.
Best vs. Worst:
Perhaps this is the innate flaw with us humans. During the comparison, we compare our worst with the best of the others. Therefore, one other major reason why you need to avoid comparison is that it will highlight your worst, which will seem even worse when compared with the best of the others. The ultimate result of all this would be greater depression and stress. Ergo, in order to avoid stress and depression, which increases because of the worst and best comparison, you need to avoid comparison at all.
It Never Ends:
I would be a great proponent of the comparing game if it were a onetime thing and it would end once you have done your comparison of whatever you deem fit for comparison. Sadly, the comparing game never ends, now you are comparing your car, then you’ll be comparing your bungalow, and then you’ll be comparing your net worth and so on. So the comparing game never stops and all you will do in your life is keep on comparing, which will lead to a waste of time and energy and you will end up being nowhere.
You Can’t Grade Life:
Another reason why the comparing system does not work or you cannot rely on it as a means of analyzing yourself is that you cannot grade life. There are billions of people in this world, some of them would be richer, smarter, beautiful, handsome, intelligent, stronger and so on more than you, while there will be others who won’t be as good as you are in any respect. Therefore, if you don’t have any set standards than you possibly cannot grade life. Each and every one of us has our own way by following which we become what we are, therefore, grading life is not possible, and hence comparing should also be a part of life.
You Lose Focus:
Another major reason why you should avoid comparing your life with others is the fact that comparing diverts focus. In life, in order to be successful, you need to have focused, however, when you unjustly compare yourself with others, it diverts your focus from your goal and you indulge in the comparing conspiracies, especially envy. Therefore, in order to keep your focus on what you want to achieve, you have to keep away from the comparison game.
It Kills Joy:
Above all the biggest reason why you need to stay away from the comparing game is that it never ends well. The ultimate result and perhaps the only objective of comparing your life with others are to find the ills in you and the goods in others, which in no way is a healthy sign and it eventually kills the joy in your life.
Now it’s Your Turn!
Do you compare yourself with others? What is the nature of comparison? Do you think it is a healthy activity and should be encouraged? How has it harmed or benefited your life? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below.
We all are so subject to this stupid act. You are so right it kills joy. It is probably a human problem we all share or at least most of us. When I catch myself doing that, I try to remind myself even so I can change things and others will always be stuck. They will never figure a way out of their poverty or unfortunate lifestyle. So I am grateful that no matter what I feel it is not permanently holding me back. It only needs to be temporary right now, not forever. That helps get me out of the comparison game, as we can always find others that we would not like to be like.
Also knowing that there will always be someone better than what we see our faults are, yet they also feel inadequate at times and we wonder why. It is all such a time waster!
We have all experienced some sort of comparison in our lives. Not a good practice. It destroys joy, and creates negative thinking. It can ruin relationships too. Great post.
Great information Nate! When you tend to compare yourself to others you are only being a follower. We have to learn to accept who we are and where we want to go. It starts with us first.
I like you because you are always on point.
There have never been any scenario where the attitude of comparison added an advantage to anybody. Instead one might say he has a mentor that he or she is looking up to.
”You can never be shorter than somebody and at the same time also expect to be taller than that same person”
Thanks for sharing, Philip.
Great post and you nailed it again. Comparison takes us nowhere and just deviates from our goals as each person is different with their own opinion, goals, success rate.
The worst thing that will happened to a man is when they choose to compare it with others.
Thank you this great post.
Great Post..there is nothing gained by comparing our looks, material items or bank accounts with others. You are so correct when you say one loses focus on their own journey by focusing on someone else’s.
When you are confident in who you are, you don’t need to compare yourself to others.
Great post, Nate — Being unique in business is knowing about who we really are and how we serve outher and is building our confidence
There was a time when I used to compare myself with others, in the bad way… my worst vs. their best. However, over the years I have become much more aware of the fact that we don’t ever know anyone’s full story. We only see what is on the surface. I’ve learned perspective.
Nowadays, I might compare my work ethic with others, but not my paycheck. I might compare a possession with someone else’s, but not out of jealousy or wishing I were that person. I use people whose lives look good to me, whose morals look good to me as points of reference to build myself and my life up to another level. It is not out of competitiveness or any negative feeling, but more of a way of inspiring myself to be and do what will lead me to the place where I am most happy. 🙂
Great post! Thank you for sharing such thought provoking topics.
Amen, brother Nate, Amen!
I think so much of the comparing ourselves with others comes from the advertising industry. We have so many message sent at us, particularly women to look a certain way, to own something, etc.
We need to turn it and look to others for inspiration, for ideas but not to measure up to.
I enjoyed reading your post Nate. I think it is human nature to compare yourself with others but it can lead to jealousy and negativity if you don’t check it. These thoughts are soul and confidence-destroying viruses. On a work basis, I am in the process of learning about marketing so I compare my efforts with others in order to learn progress.
Comparing is a waste of time! You said it my man. Simply create, do not compete or compare. Be grateful. You are blessed. Revel in that feeling of being blessed.
Brilliant post!! It’s really interesting with social media (especially instagram) how it’s easy to compare your life to others but the interesting thing is when it comes to social media is we glorify our lives and place a filter on it. REALLY interesting post.
I totally agree with your points Nate, it indeed is a spoilsport.
Good advice for anyone. Comparisons create judgment, and a judgement is just an interesting point of view.
Excellent advice Nate and I don’t think I have ever compared my life to someone else’s – If someone is better off than me I just think good luck to them, they have earned it. Thanks for sharing.
That’s what I am talking about. Personally I believe that nobody can plays your role as perfectly as like you play. And another thing is that with compare your self to another is leading insult your self.
Great post today. I think I used to compare myself to others but the older I get, it’s more of a “I wish I had known then what I know now” type of thing.
I’m just me; no comparing.
Have a great day. Monna
A good post ,Nate
I never did compare myself with others ,but I knew people who did.
they never can be happy and what they see in others is usually
not the whole truth,we never can know everything about others and many pretend to be something they are not .
people who compare themselves ,should go and build self esteem.
Important post simply because comparing yourself to others robs you of discovering your own greatness. We each have our own special qualities that no one else has and these are the ones that need to be focused on. It takes a major change in mindset and a shift in how you see yourself in the world.
great stuff Nate. Im new to this realm. Glad to have found your site. Hope to connect with you. Thanks.
Thank you Arcee, appreciate that very much! 🙂
I’ve wasted to much time comparing myself that it drained me so much and I was lost. The sad part with comparing yourself with others is that you don’t only get depressed and feel alone, you lose what defines you and your believes.
Thank you for this wonderful article.
Dear Nate, thank you for your excellent explaination of comparing ones self to another…. my parents seems to do this with me and again recently. The damage created by this has upset me enormously and made me feel very frustrated that I had to google it and here I am. I love the part “comparing ones worst to your best” that is how it always goes and being an adult with 3 children living a life of sobriety and working at being a better person every day is very rewarding for me. I need to share with my parents this simple information you have posted, and I need to have courage to stand up for myself. Thanks, you’ve made my day!